Sunday, March 20, 2005

Bitch's Brew

As you know, I love caffeine en masse but understand that some cafés just don’t serve large coffees. C’est la vie. But recent experience necessitates an obviousism from the ol’ GW: Early on a weekday morning is no time to give me a lecture. Don’t be telling me you can do a large coffee “but it will taste like crap because you lose the crema”. I don’t care. If I cared about crema I’d order an espresso. If I want to pay for (in your opinion) a shit coffee to kickstart my brain, that’s my idiotic choice.

I wasn’t going to dob. But I had a dream the other night (from which I literally woke laughing) that convinced me I had to.

Brew in Sandy Bay. Looks good. Nice boys making nice coffee. All good. Except for those early morning lectures. Gently telling me off is one thing, but hearing you chastise other customers wanting a large coffee is a bit much. Good natured though it may be, it’s a bit rough on the early morning nerves. Give it a rest boys.

You might say: “Don’t like it, go elsewhere”. You might even say: “We don’t need customers who want the coffee equivalent of a bucket bong”. I would say: “Fine, but that’s a gutsy call in a small town”.

To be fair, I understand that you are coming from a good place. You aspire to coffee excellence and you want to teach us the difference between excellent coffee, good coffee, and shit coffee. I applaud that. However, sometimes a customer just wants what they want. Case in point: a country café on the big island lists on its coffee menu the “Why Bother?” – seemingly brewed by waving a coffee bean under the steam while frothing the milk. I agree - why bother? But that’s what some people want and I congratulate the café owner’s good business sense in providing same.

Coffee menus are great places for educating customers, lectures are not.

Reasons to go to Brew: The coffee’s good, not too expensive, and comes with a chocolate-coated coffee bean (dine-in), the coffee-meisters are very friendly (lecturing aside), and the spunky guy from T42 works there. It’s a nice café, personally I prefer Satis, but that’s just the E.M.Forster in me.

The dream I had the other night? I dreamt that I told the head Brew-boy that the décor reminded me of Hudson’s. Oops.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Places I recently was served a good NOT "great" but "good" coffee: Kafe Kara, Island Cafe, Nosebag in lower Sandy Bay.....the most consistent is definately Kara.

Like A Tiger said...

Good heavens, GW, there must be more than one Brew in Sandy Bay! I had a very ordinary coffee at the one you frequent, the other day, and my hungry wife was unsurprisingly underwhelmed at the rolls and sandwiches on offer, which looked like they'd been on display for days.

You're better off heading from there to Salamanca for Sugo, Machine or Retro.

And don't get me started on Nosebag... How that place has survived says more about the injudicious nature of the locals than anything else. It is abominable.

Anonymous said...

Had the wonderful experience of seeing the Nosebag owner ball out three paying patrons last weekend. One had the nerve to say that she had asked for no peanuts, as she was allergic to them. And a couple was overheard, by the owner that for value for money (service & food), it was a lot better in North Hobart.

The first patron was told, in a very loud and sarcastic manner not to worry as there was a medical centre next door and the couple was told to “piss of back to North Hobart if you want wogs serving you”

Needless to say that there will be 4 people who will never go back there.