Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Dinner in a Jar
Went to dinner at the home of my nemesis, cousin Sonya last night. Sonya was always a shit, but now I've realised some people really have no clue where food comes from!
To start things off I was offered a vodka lime & soda. Nice one! Except, the "lime" was that pretend lime juice out a green plastic bottle. Ok Georgie, I said to meself, stop being fussy. Smile and drink the bloody drink.
I drank the drink (cue cat's-arse facial expression).
Next on the menu was dip and crackers. The crackers were corn chips - Mexican flavour (blechh!) and the dip was Coles brand avocado. I am yet to come across a major label dip that doesn't taste like pencil shavings, seriously.
Deep breath, Georgie, she's promised a bbq, how bad can that be?
Well. Out came the frozen burgers. Microwaved before going on the hotplate, of course. The salad came out of a bag, the dressing came out of a bottle, the potato salad came out of a Coles deli tub. Not a single item in the meal was made with fresh ingredients (unless you count vodka!).
It's not that I'm a real food snob, and we all know I'm as much a lazy cow as the next bovine wench, but I just can't understand how some people have no perception of the taste of food. It's not cheaper to buy frozen burgers, they taste like cardboard, and they are full of all sorts of shit. And if you're too lazy to make your own burgers Sonya, what's wrong with a bloody lamb chop or a freaking sausage?
The worst thing about my cousin Sonya is that she thinks she's a great hostess (bless her). The best thing about being Sonya’s cousin is I can dob to Gran, who will tell Auntie Flo, who tell kick Sonya's sorry arse!
Aaah, family. Don't you just love Christmas time?
GW the HRB
p.s. Clearly not over the shocking pink yet. Loved your reaction, Stephen. Don't worry, it won't last much longer. You know how novelties are.