It was early. I was bleary-eyed and tousle-haired. I stumbled into Sal's take-away asking for some change for the voucher machine. It was Sunday, the helpful girl behind the bain-marie reminded me, not necessary. Phew. I staggered ahead along the corridor that runs from Sal's take-away into Sal's restaurant, expecting them to be open for breakfast. They weren't. Hmm, oh well. But as I stretched out my hand for the door to the quarry she emerged. A fire-breathing dragon. In Sal's. Seriously!
"ARE YOU RIGHT, MADAM?" it roared, "WE'RE NOT OPEN YET". Poor wee peasant-girl Georgie Weston, caught in the fiery gaze of the dragon, was frozen with fear. "I was just going to meet a friend..." … "THIS ISN'T A THOROUGHFARE" belched the dragon "... for breakfast", stammered little Georgie. I tried and tried to explain that my friend was meeting me by the fountain before we broke our fast at either Sal's or Machine, depending on who was open. But the dragon continued on and on and on, roaring over the top of me "BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, THOROUGHFARE, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH". Its face flashed from red to purple to a really ugly green. Georgie began to feel very very small, not at all like a grown-up empowered consumer. Suddenly, from somewhere behind her ear, Georgie’s guardian angel whispered: “You are the customer Georgie, you have the power”. And then from somewhere deep down in her boots, Georgie found a little glimmer of courage. She straightened her back, she stood a little taller, and she faced up to the dragon. She fixed it with a withering gaze of her own and declared "But we won't be dining here now! Thank you". And with that she turned confidently and with dignity, she took hold of the door handle and walked calmly and proudly into the warm sunshine of the quarry, while the dragon gargled and gurgled and spluttered behind her.
Meanwhile, a stalwart of the Hobart tourism scene was seen sipping his well-earned latte from a perch outside The Parthenon, unaware of the legend of little Georgie and the Dragon. He'd had his own history with Sal's and had a point to prove. In a fitting display of peacockishness, he was overheard to declare to Sal's management: "That's right mate, we're over here cos your service sucks".
Maintain the rage my friends!